The beginning of something...

So I absolutely love the book Bridget Jones' Diary. It's one of my favorite books and the older I get the more true to life the experiences she describes gets.

So there's one part of the book where she talks about all the things that have happened to her and a friend of hers tells her how life is like a spiral and sometimes one feels as if one is circling around in negativity when really it is that one is ascending gradually to something better.. it just requires patience.

As Bridget says, "It sounded fantastic at the time but now that I'm sober I'm not quite sure what she was talking about."

I think it's great big spiral of negativity time for me. I'm just having one of those times in my life, and they come periodically, where everything spirals around in a great big circle of blah and ick and I feel like turning my cell phone off, locking myself in my room, till it all just gooooooooooes away.

*sigh*

I would like to take the time to proclaim my undying love for the genius that is, "I can haz cheezburger"

http://icanhascheezburger.com/

This fountain of brilliance is responsible for fantabulous productions such as




and




and as a sidenote, how I Can Haz Cheezburger has inspired other prodigal feats of internet wit like LOLHAN.




Bravo, champs, bravo!

Jesus Christ, mother of all Holies, Mary mother of God...

The Liberal Democratic Party has fallen out of majority in the Diet.

O_o

Since 1955 the LDP has held sway over the Diet but NO MORE. The Democratic Party of Japan has taken the majority for the first time in over 50 years!!

I quote:

"Since the ruling Liberal Democratic Party was established in 1955, this is the first time it has fallen from being the No. 1 force in the chamber. The LDP has never before had to cede the presidency despite previous losses of majority control, even in coalitions."

See rest of article here: http://search.japantimes.co.jp/mail/nn20070808a1.html

Very exciting.

And last but not least...




Have you seen this man? I think he's taken my heart and run away with it *^^*

I have nothing to say but my livejournal looks so sad and lonely, gathering dust in the corner.

Beep.

Edit**: I realize I did this quiz wrong ahahaha. You're supposed to answer in 3 words.

Redo!

1. Where is your cell phone?
On my desk

2. Your boyfriend/girlfriend?
Um not sure

3. Your hair?:
bangs and wavy

4. Where is your mother or step mother?:
Living in Irvine

6. Your favorite thing to do?
DoTA or sex :D

7. Your dream last night?
DoTA... ganked ppl!

8. Your favorite drink?:
coffee or smoothies

9. Your dream car?
Honda hybrid Insight!!

10. The room you're in?
Lame Blizzard reception

12. Your fears?
the dark

14. Who did you hang out with last night/yesterday?:
Mr. Timothy Ismay

15. What you're not good at?
Confronting people emotionally

16. Do you miss someone?
I do... dammit!!

17. One of your wish list items?
a PhD please

18. Where did you grow up?:
Northern California, Cupertino

19. The last thing you did?
FedEx lotsa stuff

20. What are you wearing?:
dress with leggings

23. Your computer?
reception desk computer

24. Your life?
uncertain but good

25. Your mood?
happy but tired

26. Do you party?
hellz fuckin' yeah

27. What are you thinking about right now?
I want Sprinkles

29. Your work?
It's mostly good

30. Your summer?
surfing with Joong

31. Your relationship status/Are you happy about it ?
Um, I think?

32. Your favorite color(s):
Green, green, green!!!

33. When is the last time you laughed?:
about 30 seconds ago

34. Last time you cried?
Up at Manzanar

35. School?
Another 10 years

-------------------------------------------------------------
Quiz done incorrect below ahahahaha

Body: 3 word quiz

1. Where is your cell phone?
On the speaker dais of the reception desk

2. Your boyfriend/girlfriend?
Erm... don't have one? But if I did he'd be in Germany :D

3. Your hair?:
bangs, my natural reddish brownish black, a little past my shoulders and wavy

4. Where is your mother or step mother?:
Irvine

6. Your favorite thing to do?
Grapple 12 year olds (jk jk) but yes grapple, smoke while having delicious coffee, go on long ass roadtrips into the desert, and have sex (duh)

7. Your dream last night?
DoTA... I was ganking ppl!!! (something that doesn't happen in real life *sob sob*

8. Your favorite drink?:
Hmmm... Coffee... strawberry and banana smoothies

9. Your dream car?
The Honda hybrid Insight!!

10. The room you're in?
The reception room? My desk is huge, it's the most awkward place to have reception ever, and it's forever noisy with the sound of ppl going in and out. I'm basically in an oversized desk in the middle of a hallway in front of the bathrooms.

12. Your fears?
The Dark, deep water, fish, flushing toilets, heights, being bored for the rest of my life, being mediocre

14. Who did you hang out with last night/yesterday?:
Mr. Timothy Ismay

15. What you're not good at?
Uh, anything that involves hand-eye coordination? Talking about my personal feelings. Blowing people off? Breaking up with people?

16. Do you miss someone?
I do... dammit!!

17. One of your wish list items?
a PhD, a nice house on the beach, oh this is one for real a large-cut amethyst and/or emerald ring, new tattoos (ooh i want these too), a bigger iPod

18. Where did you grow up?:
Cupertino

19. The last thing you did?
FedEx a gazillion things out

20. What are you wearing?:
multi-colored striped empire-waist top over grey leggins, with a cream colored sweater

23. Your computer?
Umm.. it's the reception desk computer? I have a tiny-ass monitor and even though Brice came and cleared stuff out it's running sluggish lately? All the DoTA I've been playing must be running it down!

24. Your life?
Very, very uncertain and somewhat whirlwind-y but I love it

25. Your mood?
Happy!!

26. Do you party?
Hell yeah, no one knows how to party it down like me and my girls =^^=

27. What are you thinking about right now?
I want a Sprinkles cupcake

29. Your work?
I love my company, I love my co-workers, and my actual job is not bad but I hate being bitch-girl and I'm way overqualified to be a receptionist so it RANKLES

30. Your summer?
Erm.. work and party and have fun in the sun? I'm going to learn how to surf, Joong promised to teach me!

31. Your relationship status/Are you happy about it ?
Um, I think? This is a very confusing time for me.

32. Your favorite color(s):
Green!!!

33. When is the last time you laughed?:
Maybe 30 seconds ago? Ismay and I went to Improv yesterday where the headliner was Norm MacDonald of SNL fame. BUT, he was so incredibly sloshed and higher than a kite on something it was kind of sad. But the 1st guy was hilarious! I was laughing when recounting it to Liz

34. Last time you cried?
At Manzanar

35. School?
*sigh* I'm looking at another 10 years. But I love school, so it's ok. It's just a sigh at all the things I'll be giving up. Even though I don't particularly care, things like having a family, finding a significant other, buying a house, building a career... these things will come much later and I have an impatient personality haha

He's in Germany.

HRM.....................

I think I've met my match.

"I recently saw that this drunk, tattooed girl has got a song about rehab, and I was delighted by it," [Marilyn] Manson says of the British retro-soul diva. "I don't know much about her, but I want to party with her, and if I see her, I'm going to smack her ass."
--A comment by Marilyn Mason about Amy Winehouse

1. hows your heart lately?
Uhhhh... ok?

2. when was the last time you went out?
Last night

3. what was the last movie you saw?
pirates 3

4. the last place you went?
er... Alex's apartment?

5. miss someone?
i do and i don't

6. what made you smile today?
hmm... not all that smile today.. tired Zzzzzz

7. the last time you fell in love?
I fall in love all the time! <3

8. when was the last time you were drunk?
Hmm.. this Friday that just passed, at Blue Cafe for the Argyle Pimps/Pharcyde concert

9. ever loved someone so deep?
hm... not sure

10. what is your status right now?
hm.. sleep deprived at work

11. what was your dream last night?
i slept so little I don't think my dreaming functions had time to kick in

12. what were you doing this morning at 7 am?
sleeping

13. what were you doing this morning at 10 am?
Uh, which is in 32 minutes.. I will probably be working, letting in Lori's Kitchen, answering the phone

14. what were you doing this afternoon at 12 pm?
Maybe I should answer this for yesterday? I was eating dim sum with Mel and Koji!

15. name a country you want to visit.
Italy

16. how many piercings do you have?
2 - regular ear piercings

17. do you have a tattoo?
4

18. what was the last thing you ate?
Chicken divan from Lori's Kitchen!

19. what was the last thing you drank?
Water, I am SOOOO thirsty for some reason

20.what do you want to do today?
sleeeeeeeeeeeeeep

21. do you have a nick name?
Connie, Kocchan, Kon Kon (ugh)

23. are you a type of person who easily gets hurt?
Umm.. can be

24. the last thing you said to one of your friends?
"yeah, that's a box for 131"

25. the last person who called you?
mm... Alex?

26. the last person who sent you a message?
Koji

Wow that was the dumbest survey ever. It was lucky that I'm perpetually bored!

1. Where is your mom right now?
Probably at work

2. Last time you kissed someone?
Sunday night

3. Name five things you did today.
1. Went to work
2. at work
3. at work
4. going to lunch with co-worker
5. going to jiu-jitsu at 7:30

4.Who was the last person you text messaged?
Alex

5. What kind of phone do you have?
hot pink razr

7. Where does your best friend(s) work?
er... he WAS working at Pacific Life

8. What are you listening to?
m-flo loves EMYLI and Yoshika "Looping My Heart"

9. What do you smell like?
Vera Wang

10. what color are your eyes?
Brown

11. Have you ever done a Chinese fire drill?
what the hell is that?

12. What color is your bedroom floor?
er... dirty off beige color

13. Do you have a chair in your room?
yes, a blue IKEA computer chair

14. What are you doing tomorrow?
working, maybe jiu-jitsu, maybe date with cute DJ guy

15. Do you know anyone who is engaged?
Yes, far too many. The attrition rate is horrible!

17. Do you know someone named Derek?
Er, not personally

18. What color is your mom's hair?
Brown-black

19. Do you have a dog?
Yes he is a fluffy brat but I love him

20. Do you remember singing any songs as a kid?
Yess...

22. When was the last time you talked to one of your siblings?
hmmm... when i got kicked out of my nephew's 1st birthday party my sister hissed at me while she had her husband bounce me :D

24. Do you play an instrument?
piano, some violin, some clarinet

25. Do you like fire?
yes! budding pyro

26. Are you allergic to anything?
not that i know of

27. Do you have a crush on anyone?
yes! *sigh* I'm such a boychaser. ATM I am madly in love with fighter boy, artsy boy, co-worker boy, and DJ boy

28. Best friend?
Dan and Mel

29. Have you ever been to a spa?
Yup

30. Did you take science all four years of high school?
erm... yes actually. Physics counts as science right?

31. Do you like butterflies?
No! I hate butterflies and I hate caterpillars with a passion. Must squish.

32. Do you miss someone right now?
Erm. Sure.

33. Does someone miss you right now?
I have no idea.

34. Have you ever seen your school counselor?
When I was in school, yes.

35. Have you ever wanted to be a teacher
I teach now!

36. What is one thing you've learned about life?
Don't stress, things happen for a reason.

37. Whats your favorite color?
Green

38. Is anyone jealous of you?
Hm I have no idea.

39. Ever been stuck in an elevator?
Never

40. What does your mom call you?
Shin-shin

41.What do your friends call you?
Con Con (ick), Connie, Constance

42. What does your hair look like right now?
It's clipped up

43. Has a friend ever used you?
Yes! We are no longer friends.

44. Has anyone ever told you they liked you more than a friend?
umm... yes

45. What have you eaten today?
Kirkland's weight loss shake and sipping on camomile tea

48. Who was the last person you drove with?
Melanie!!

49. What are you looking forward to?
Jiu-jitsu, jiu-jitsu, jiu-jitsu, grappling with fighter boy, jiu-jitsu, possible date with DJ boy, AND Vegas this weekend! Oh yeah, and jiu-jitsu

50. How are you doing today?
Hmm.. pretty good. I hurt everywhere and my tricep-elbow region looks like I've sprouted some kind of rare blood disease... but otherwise I'm good.

So... this 12 year old I grapple with is kind of vicious. Yesterday is the 1st time we tried to roll seriously and the end result is that my thighs and arms and legs resemble a fine mosaic of plum, red, yellow, and blue stains. It was great, though, because rolling is really at the heart of where everything we've been learning in jiu-jitsu comes together. I'm learning how to do take-downs and reversals/sweeps pretty well, if not much of anything else :p

It's going to be fun explaining tonight when Kelly, Jack, Mel, and I do our little speed dating thing. I'm going to sit down for my 1st 8 minute date with arms COVERED in ugly looking bruises and explain to my 1st date that I'm doing this speed dating thing because all my ex-boyfriends were abusive and I want to meet someone nice. *grin* I'm actually pretty excited about tonight because I think it'll be an interesting experience. However, I was informed last night that people I know and don't want to be seen by may be at Shark's Club tonight. I directed my little informer to make sure to strategically "guide" those people AWAY from the speed dating area and save me some face.

And lastly, all I have to say in my defense is it's purely professional, I just want to get to know how to grapple better, and who better to teach it than a professional MMA fighter. There is no way it's going to be sexual because we're going to roll early in the morning in the gym in front of everyone, totally innocent grappling date.

Yes....

Isn't that the question always.

I am a proud person who strongly believes in (mostly) living by what you stand for, in making meaning out of your life, and enjoying it to the fullest.

But is life worth living with compromises?

I am such an uncompromising person. It's actually my favorite trait about me :D

As I'm sure some of us know, suicides are denied burial in hallowed ground. It's a lingering traditional belief that those who deny God's gift of life should likewise be denied an eternal resting place in designated holy territory, cast out as they are (supposedly) from God's grace, wandering in Purgatory or perhaps tormented as in Dante's Inferno, to suffer throughout all eternity as horrific and grotesquely transfigured human trees.

Regardless, there exists alongside the denial of burial for suicides in church ground, the practice of burying those who have chosen to take their own lives, at crossroads.

There is something fascinating about the idea that those who are denied all refuge in supposedly sacred ground, are laid to rest at the crossing of paths, the place of perpetual wandering. It brings to mind the little Japanese jizo statues that watch over wayfarers, or the small cairns built at the forks in roads in ancient times, to honor the guardian of paths. Hermes is the god of travelers, u know. In essence, those who have are condemned to wander are appointed guardian over the wanderers, the lost guarding the lost.

How beautiful is that?

I'm in so much pain when I'm sitting still in one place I involuntary twitch all over. Mainly its my arms but my legs will spasm every now and then. My left shoulder jerks itself.

I have never worked so hard in my life at something. I know I should probably stop and give my body a rest, but I love it so much! I want to hurry up and learn and to get better, so that I will no longer be the person that has to be taken care of during training.

Well, I figure over the weekend that will be plenty of time to heal. I don't plan on doing ANY training over the weekend so 2 days of blissful rest for my muscles.

Not that my goal is this, but I hope all this training pays off and I look really hot this summer!

The way I see it, jiujutsu is like chess. By learning the various holds, chokes, positions, etc is like knowing the various chess pieces and how they move and come into play within the game. Learning to counter particular positions and moves is all strategic, and you can learn to set traps, counter them, or defend. I was watching a video today where Juliano (our head coach) turned a lethal looking guillotine choke into a triangle choke victory for himself! Sooooooooooo awesome. He also looks like Antonio Banderas, lawl.

So let's just say I want to hurry up and learn about my chess pieces so I can play some chess!

I've been auditing jiujutsu classes here and there since I came back from my Japan trip, but what with work and all sorts of other things I haven't been able to make it to an actual full class. My kickboxing instructor shows me the stuff she's been learning, but since she trains jiujutsu at 4:30 and I'm stuck at Blizzard, it's impossible for me to get there and train with her. Another tough thing is that though mornings would be perfect for me, very few girls (and small guys) show up to the 7 am class. Juliano has forbidden me to participate in any classes unless there is another girl or a guy who is about my size and weight... while this sux I can see his point. Even if a 175 lb guy tries to be gentle, just by sheer weight alone I could get hurt really bad and Juliano is definitely about safety first.

But anyways, last night I had my full class! I bought kid sized shorts that are AWESOME, with the No Limits logo, Team Oyama, and Lotus Club stuff on it, and rolled into class! Flirted with cute fighter boy for a few minutes and jumped into the most awesome experience ever. 2 hours of sweaty, sometimes painful, totally exhausting, and most exhilirating experience EVER. At some point Mel came to laugh at me but I think I was too busy going upside to notice.

Anyways, I'm totally hooked! I'm in pain, it hurts to move, everything creaks and pops when I walk, and my ankle is COMPLETELY gone, but I have to go back! I think I'm totally in love...

This is better than the best sex ever.

The best part about being single is meeting a lot of different new people. I make an active effort to do this. Plus, I'm so restless that if I don't get out and meet people and properly exhaust myself I'll go back to my insomniac days. And we don't want that.

I think on the whole I'm an individual who talks a lot. Sometimes I talk myself into circles and talk about the same things over and over again. Sometimes I like to talk about more philosophical stuff, other times it's random light talk. Regardless, I talk a great deal. But lately, I've not been talking. It's more interesting and fun for me to let the men do the talking. And talking. And talking. It's funny what a prolonged period of one-sided conversation can reveal.

I've heard a lot of interesting things, stupid things, and just generally fascinating revelations that come from men talking themselves into corners...all without assistance from me!

So I've come to notice that the number one thing men seem to always be trying to push across to me is, "I'm so laidback. I'm such a chill guy. I'm so laidback. I'm like the most laidback guy ever."

Inevitably I find that the ones who propound this the most are typically the diametric opposite of "laidback."

Is there something about the quality of "laidback" that is so attractive? I wouldn't call myself laidback; I have waaaaaaaaaaay too much energy. I don't get it. What's so good about being "laidback"? Why do men especially feel as if this is an impressive quality to put across to a girl?

Either way, I am amused. :)

PS.
The not happy part is professionally related. Too long and boring of a story to relate here.

Why is it looks and intelligence are mutually exclusive? I've gone for the hot guy, I've gone for the intellectual guy.

I just want someone who is 2 in 1!!

Man, if I could have a male version of me, I'd date myself in a heartbeat. How's that for ultimate narcissism?

So today I found out I didn't get the licensing coordinator position. Go figure. They hired someone who speaks Korean. That's the ONE East Asian language I don't speak. I was kind of expecting it because as receptionist I see people go in and out and I knew she interviewed for licensing and when I saw her back the 2nd time I was pretty sure they hired her.

*shrug*

Oh well.

In other news, it was fantastic to finally sleep in yesterday though I didn't pass out as well as I had hoped. I bought a whole bottle of wine, planning to be completely in vino veritas and have a good drunken sleep but my rest was fitful. Too many nights of restless sleep, always worrying about having to get up the next day.

Lastly on my news bulletin, I had my acrylics chipped off day. It was a little weird having my nails naked again. But as fun and awesome having claws (especially hot pink tipped ones) is (oh and the joy of having to learn to open doors, cans of soda, peel back creamer cups, etc) I had to get them off because I'm starting jiujutsu~!

I've been going to cardio kickboxing for about 2 years, on and off semi-regularly. But for the past 4 months I've made it a point to go at least 3-5 times a week. It's been fantastic and I'm totally addicted now to hitting the gym, training really hard, and wobbling out of the gym and hour and a half later. But recently, as fun as kickboxing is.. I wanted to try something more. I've been playing around with the idea of jiujutsu for a while now (and not just because of my infatuation with mma fighters) and I started getting my kickboxing instructor to show me some moves. It's soooooooooooooooooo much fun! So I think I'm going to start going to 7:30 to 9 jiujutsu. The only problem is finding someone to grapple with. The only condition I was given to start was that I need to find either a) a girl to roll with b) a guy similar in size and weight. Ummmmm so I don't know that many guys around 5'2" and 118 lbs... sooooooooooo girl it is!

It's just been a really strange kind of day. I'm a little bummed about the LC thing but not really. I'm pretty happy because I was able to sleep fully last night. I'm neither happy or unhappy, tired or energetic. I'm occupying some weird blah space. It's a very strange feeling today.. oh well.

What a week! What a weekend! But in excellent news, I no longer work weekends as I my SAT class in Norwalk wrapped up this weekend. The less said about that whole disastrous class experience, the better. That and I freakin' always get pulled over in Norwalk! Mel thinks it's because I drive a white Camry with tinted windows.

I'm considering turning off my phone for 3 days and just sleeping. Mainly because I lack the self control to not answer phone calls. And also because I need the sleep. And also because I'm addicted to text messaging..

Sleep. Sweet, sweet balm for the weary. Rejuvenator of my soul. Ahhh...

"He's not a gentleman, nor a Christian, nor good in any way. He's never flattered me nor honoured me. But because he's handsome, that's been enough. The son of an Italian dentist, with a pretty face."

I know what she means.

Ok back from lunch and done with all the stuff I needed to get done. So where was I...

OH yes! So after Asakusa, we hit up Akihabara! I amazingly spent over a year in Japan and have visited countless times and yet I have never made it to this place. But this time, I was determined to go. I was a little scared after all the stories I've heard about uh.. Akiba culture and stuff but really, I'm sure it wouldn't be anything.

Anyways! Here's a view from the JR station right out of Akihabara!



Akihabara was actually pretty cool. Mel, Steph, and I were able to get brand new glasses for sooo cheap over there. Eye exam + frames + lenses was hella cheap and my new emo glasses rock. I luv them. Steph has some awesome pink ones, Mel some turquoise backed ones, and typical me I have boring dark brown ones. But they have funky back coloring.

Later, we met up with Satoshi. Satoshi and I always joke we have kusare-en. That is to say, no matter what we always end up in the same place. We both moved to SoCal at the same time in 7th grade. We went to high school together. We ended up at UCI together. And then when I did an exchange program at ICU in Tokyo, Satoshi ended up transferring over to ICU.



Much of my Japan trip was basically spent shopping. Shopping and shopping and shopping and shopping and shopping. Yeah...

It all starts here...




Sample of the 1 thing I bought at Shibuya 109. That place is sooo expensive! And I can barely squeeze into anything. *sniffle* damn those anorexic gyarus!



Lessee... well we also stopped by good ol' ICU. We happened to arrive in Japan during the 1st week of spring break, so it was right about the time of dorm initiation! The weather was also gorgeous. So Mel, Steph, and Dave got a little taste of crazy dorm life at ICU!

Global house boys doing their usual joshikousei kakkou




And Tawara-kun came out to hang with us! It was so good seeing Kojiro again. Everything was "comfortable" hahaha.




Afterwards we stopped by the famed Ghibli Museum! Yet another big locale that I managed to miss all the times that I've been to Japan and throughout the year I was there.













Aaaand afterwards we strolled through Inokashira Kouen were there was actually some sakura still in bloom. Yay! We hadn't completely missed it!



Ok! I'm going to end this portion here. I have to upload the latter half of our trip's pictures, but for now this will be it!

I will leave you with one little teaser of my new glasses and outfits!




P.S. Shandy Gaff's are soooooo good. That's my new poison of choice!